All or Nothing January 8, 2009

So, it is a new year. New. Fresh start. New. I love that word new. It rings of something better. The cliche thing to do at new years is make resolutions, but will the empty resolutions I make actually make this year better? Or will they simply get lost in the hopeful promises to “go to the gym”… “make strait A’s”… “spend more quality time with my friends and family”…

No, I think for this new year, I need a heart change. What I desire truly has to change. So, God’s been teaching me about this whole love thing lately, and I’m really trying to love Him. In this process, I think He will change me. Actually, I know He will. The thing is, God doesn’t just want part of me; He wants all of me. He longs for all of my focus to be on Him. This is such a hard thing! I get busy, I get bogged down, and I get to where i feel like when I have free time, I just want to spend it on myself! But none of that matters. I serve a relentless God who loves me and desires for me to love Him back. I serve a God who is into me. I want to be into Him. So I have to serve wholeheartedly. My leftovers are simply not good enough, and that’s fine with me. I’m ready to embark on another chapter of my spiritual journey, excitedly waiting for what He is going to show me. I know it sounds cheesy, but sometimes all I’m going to have is God… and I am so glad! He will never disappoint me. In fact, I hope He surprises and astounds me more than I can ever imagine. 

So, this new year, I’m going to focus less on resolutions, and more on loving my amazing God. The world may consider this foolish, but boy are they fooled.

big big big January 6, 2009

God has been teaching me a lot lately. More these past few days than in the past month. Maybe it is because I am actually slowing down to listen, slowing down to indulge in his love, slowing down to focus on Him and in turn take care of myself. Reminders of God’s love simply astound me. There is no other love that can even compare to His, yet more often than not, I fool myself into thinking that those other things can satisfy. When I rest in His arms it is evident how big His love is. Big and unique is His love. Unique in the way that it is so different from any love I’ve known here on this earth. I do not think I fully comprehend how He cherishes me. You know,  I tend to think of love only through my eyes– human love. Yes, God is my friend, but if I take it a step further to say the creator of the universe, the God who just IS cares about ME, is into ME, and takes care of ME as well as all of his creation loves me… wow. He doesn’t just care about me, he loves me. That huge, unimaginable, incomprehensible love! He loves us even though when we are illuminated by His glory, being displayed for what we truly are: unworthy, the one and only God of the universe considers us precious. He knows our every thought and our deepest desires, and still loves us. When I am standing in His glory, comparing myself to Him, I realize how much I need Him. When I come to grip with that need, that is when I can start loving God. I may begin loving Him because of my need, but soon it will be in spite of my need. I love God because He loves me, but also because I realize how much want to know Him. His love is fulfilling! Once I’ve tasted and seen that the Lord is good, why would I ever go back to loving worthless things of the world?

Why DO I turn back to the worthless things…?

I can only hope to know this love more and more. To experience it, to obtain it, and try to share it. I feel like I need to love people more. But the truth is, when I truly begin to love God, my heart is going to grow more and more like His. I am going to see people and situations as He sees them, and the love and joy is just going to come naturally, from the overflow of my heart. Bottom line: You just have to love God. I truly believe that if Christians focus in on loving God, everything else will fall into place.